But I've done it, a few times now. And all that's happening is I'm becoming more impatient. I hate it. What is wrong with me? I'm unfixable. The main source of my impatience is technology, which I am going through a state of loathing with right now. I just want everything to cooperate so I can go to bed, is that too much to ask? Apparently so.
I know what my problem is. Well, one of many, surely. But when something goes wrong, my first thought isn't to pray for help. And it needs to be. That's the only way I am going to become more patient is if, in the heat of the moment, when everything is going wrong and all I'm becoming is more impatient, I just call upon God to help me. And He will.
Deep breaths.
I can do this.
It's nights like these when I wish I had someone I could turn to at any hour and they'd be there for me.
I keep saying things like that, and it just hit me. That's not gonna happen until I realize that God is someone I can turn to at any hour. He is always there for me. Until I reestablish my relationship with Him, (not sure where it went or how it changed, but regardless, I miss it and wish it was back,) I'm not ready for anyone else to be in my life.
That's what my new focus/goal will be. And either way, it is definitely something I'll need for a mission!
I know I make absolutely zero sense in half of this, but it makes sense in my head, promise. And that's the real reason I write, isn't it? Not an extremely long post, but I guess it just didn't take as much time rambling to get me to come to a new realization this time. Now hopefully this blasted technology lets me go to sleep sometime soon. I'm just too stubborn.
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