Old friends

In high school, I became best friends with Mallory around the end of my sophomore year, through swimming. I met Dylan junior year and we became pretty great friends that year, and I think it may have taken until senior year before the three of us became inseparable. We did everything together, and I love them both so much. Mal and I have stayed besties and I absolutely love hanging out with her. We didn't talk a whole lot being at separate schools for two years, but whenever we did it was as if nothing had changed. I feel like she relates to me on so many levels that it's great to be able to confide in her about life. At the same time, we're both huge goofballs when we're around each other. Like seriously, I love being able to just act like a kid again and not care what anyone thinks. It's great. Dylan is kind of a different story. I spent my entire senior year praying and fasting for the kid. He's had such a rough life. His mom's a psycho and kicked him out of the house that year. Since graduating he has fallen away from the church, spent a year partying and getting into some pretty bad drugs and whatnot, experimented with his sexuality... all of the above. He and I hung out last week and just caught up on life. This past year he has gotten his life back on track for the most part, decided to focus on spirituality rather than religion, and he is really into astrology (which can be pretty interesting). We still tease each other and don't have a problem getting along or anything, but somehow our differing opinions always come up. The three of us hung out Saturday night and it was just like old times, but we got talking about our different views on life and things again.

A few things have been on my mind since these two conversations.

First, premarital sex. We are obviously against it, and Mal and I tried to explain why to him. He feels like that's how a lot of marriages die is because they are not chemically compatible, and don't find out till they get married. While yes, a lot of people make it work, it's still a cause of concern. He agrees you shouldn't sleep around, but it opens up a whole other level with a person. The chemical connection, the vulnerability, everything is on the table after that and you can really get to know a person. I can definitely see where he is coming from, but I disagree, obviously. The sacred powers of procreation are between a man and a woman lawfully wed, preferably in a temple of God and sealed together for time and all eternity. You don't need to create that connection with every person you date. It's something special and can cause a lot of emotional damage when abused. (I wish I was better at stating what I'm thinking, especially when I'm actually having a conversation with people, haha.)

Disagreeing with him wasn't that big of a deal. No two people will agree on every subject, that would be absurd. It's not our differing views that really got to me, though. When the two of us were talking last week, he made some comment about how he doubted Jesus didn't "sleep around" when he was on the earth. Now, I know Dylan doesn't agree with the LDS views on things, that is completely fine, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But if you're gonna speak about my Savior and Best Friend like that, I have a problem with it. I called him out on it. He grew up going to church. He should know, after everything he's learned about all that He is and all that He stands for, He would not do something like that. I mean, I know in his eyes it's not wrong before marriage, but to the Church it is, so, really? But he tried to call me out by saying that the Church and the prophets have said it's wrong, but when did Jesus ever say it? I pointed out that the seventh commandment says to not commit adultery, but he agrees that cheating on your spouse is wrong, and premarital sex is a separate matter entirely. I wracked my brains and tried to look up scriptures on lds.org to prove to him that it really is His will to wait until marriage. But I honestly couldn't find a thing. I did point out that prophets are spokespersons for God and that what they say is God's will, but since he doesn't believe in the church it's hard to refute my claim in that respect. The bible is widely accepted though, so if I could only find a simple scripture from the New Testament that talks about it.. But I've almost given up. I mean, the word sex is not even mentioned in the bible. It would say a man "knew" a woman, but that doesn't help much.

This is just frustrating to me. I KNOW it's a commandment for God, and even if all of Dylan's other reasons that it's okay before marriage are viable, the fact that God commands us is enough for me to follow Him in faith. It's not blind obedience. I feel the Spirit testifying to me that what the prophets teach is right and is from God. But how to make Dylan see? I'm not trying to reconvert him to the Gospel or anything, but I won't have him saying such things that are contrary to doctrine, contrary to all that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are and represent. I won't have it.

That felt good to get off my chest. I've thought about asking my parents about it, but haven't found a good time.

I know having friends with good values is extremely important, so I'm going to make sure I don't spend so much time around Dylan that  my thoughts and/or actions begin to change, but I want to make sure he knows we're there for him. He doesn't have very many reliable people in his life, and I want him to know I'm one of them. I love him so much and want what's best for him. If getting him to come back to church were in the cards, I'd try my hardest, but I don't realistically see that happening any time soon. He was one of my best friends though, so I'm sticking around.

On another note, I went home teaching with my dad today! My brother hardly ever goes with him anymore, so usually my mom goes with him, but she was making dinner today so I went! I want to be as good of a visiting teacher as my dad is a home teacher. Seriously, I never realized what a great example he is in that regard. He hardly ever misses a month, and if he does it's not from lack of trying. (And by missing a month I mean one family is never home/doesn't answer their phone/some other odd reason he doesn't get to visit them. But that's usually only one family every now and then!) He's great! I hope I get a visiting teaching assignment soon.

My life hasn't had too much excitement in it lately. I mostly just work, sleep, watch a bit of tv, run errands with my mom. I hope to find a second job soon, and get started learning violin from Carol!

We're leaving for Spring City (population: 1,055) in five and a half hours to put flowers on graves, I should get some sleep before then. I'm excited to spend time with my parents, grandparents, and two of my adorable cousins! Also: last night I didn't get much sleep either; I did this on purpose because I figure after two nights of  not getting enough sleep, tomorrow night I'll crash around a good time and be able to start waking up earlier! I may just start waking up at 9 or 10 this week and slowly work my way earlier, so it's not so overwhelming and hard to do. But it will happen! Self-discipline. A quality I very much lack and need to work on!