This may be a record number of posts in one week

I know I should be sleeping, but I need a moment.

I can't do this.
I just can't.

I spent the day in Provo today, and loved every minute of it. Like, seriously. Everyone there is so amazing, and I realized, I miss friends. I miss seeing people, and just being silly, and having a good time. I miss it, a lot. I then realized how much I am going to miss everyone there. I mean, obviously I will, and it's not a new realization, but it really hit me today. I broke down and started crying on the drive home, and can't help it now either. I have the most amazing friends, and I honestly don't know what I'm going to do without them. And not even all of them are there! Half of them have gone home for the summer. It just makes me so sad. How am I ever going to find such amazing people in Logan? I'm not ready to move. I can't do it. It'll be like the summer of '07 all over again, when I moved away from everything I had ever known, or at least over 80% of my life (but do the first three years really count?). I moved 2500 miles into knowing nothing and nobody. It was one of the hardest things I'd ever done, and here it comes again. I mean, yes, they'll be tons closer, but honestly, how often will I get to see them? And some of them I may never see again!

This is killing me here.
Seriously.
My dog is looking at me all concerned.
Stop crying; it will be okay.

But it won't! I just love them all too much! Why can't they all just move to Logan with me? Why can't I just get married, and everyone get married, and we can all live on the same street?

I'm being so selfish right now, I know. It's stupid. But it's late, and I'm tired, and sometimes you just want to cry.
And for everything to work out perfectly :/

Okay, deep breath.

So when I first got to Provo, I hung out with Ken for over an hour. He's great. Then I saw Chelsey FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE SHE GOT MARRIED. Yes, it was a big deal. Ken and I dropped off a note for Mike at the testing center for when he got out of his test, and we walked around and got Jamba and just talked. I miss her soooooo much. She seriously became my best friend these past two years. She means everything to me.

Then I went and picked up Jasmine, got horchata, and drove my dad to Draper. We talked, and it was just wonderful. I'm glad we're sisters and we're used to not being around each other, so me leaving isn't a huge deal. Even when she lived 5 blocks away I still barely saw her any more than I had when we were 2500 miles away. And plus, we'll both come home for holidays and whatnot, so I'll still see her. And we're almost better when we don't see each other every day anyway :P

When we got back, I hung out at Dan's for about two hours. It was just chill and fun. He made lots of cookies and muffins, and I got to watch :P and sample a few. He's just fantastic.

I left to go see Mike (finally). See, Shayli and I had been planning on kidnapping him and making him come do something fun for his birthday (even though he hates it). But she got held up and had a bunch of stuff come up, so she couldn't make it :/ But I got to spend a little over two hours over there! Cait and Ashley came over, and we played Ticket to Ride (: It was super fun. I love them all. Poor guy had to write a paper on his birthday ): At least he didn't end up having to take that test!

I left and decided to pop by Ryan's apartment. Texting him in the past have proven very unsuccessful (he's not a huge texter, aka he never texts back,) so I decided just showing up is the best plan with him. He and his roommate, Noah, were watching the end of the Celtics game. SO INTENSE. They ended up losing in overtime ): But Rondo was a beast! It was so awesome. Then they decided they wanted to go hottubbing, so I borrowed a suit from Rin and we went over to RainTree and just had a blast. Ryan and I jumped in the pool and raced a bit.. He beat me. I'm so out of shape, it's rather pathetic. But to be fair (or I guess to make the racing unfair), he had just done a triathalon liked two or three weeks ago, haha. But it was seriously so fun! They're really funny guys, and our personalities go great together. It was so fun. If I could just come down and hang out with them every night, I so would.

I didn't end up getting to see Ben, and I feel super bad about it, but hey, there's only so much you can do in a day. Next time, though, I won't be such a terrible friend.

I would totally date any of them, but of course I live so far away and no one even thinks of it being an option. Especially since I'll be going even further away in the fall ): That's not a big deal, though. I know I'll find someone eventually, I'm not too worried about it at this point. Other than that all of these guys are so fantastic! Ahh I'm almost whining again.

Oh, I also went back over to Chelsey's and spend an hour with her and Lawrence, since married people don't have curfews (: They're such a happy couple, and so perfect for each other, it's just darling.

Then I started crying on the drive home, and here I am! Going to bed, finally :P
Not so much of a spiritual post this time.. More of a whiny post. Ugh. I'm sorry. It's just one of those weeks, I guess.

I just need sleep.