So this is probably really dumb, but whenever I have a huge decision to make, I've never really straight up prayed about it. I mean, it's probably been a prayer in my heart, but I dunno why, it's just never been something I did. For example, when I decided to come to BYU, it wasn't as a result of a prayer, it was logically the right thing to do. I mean, I guess, yeah, we're supposed to work matters out for ourselves first, but we're still supposed to take them to the Lord. I guess I've just always been really bad at that. However, last semester I actually prayed a lot about whether or not going to USU was the right thing for me. I just have so many worries and concerns, and it logically makes sense to go there, but emotionally I'd rather stay at BYU. But then, after I went up to Logan for my audition into the program, that night we were sitting in my apartment and I just felt this calm peace come over me, and I knew everything was gonna be alright. I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that we'd spent the afternoon with Amy's best friend, Misty, who goes to school up there, and meeting her and some of her friends made me realize that there are still some really good people up there. I think that was part of my concern with leaving Provo and its "bubble." From then on, even though it's been really hard to think that I'll most likely never live in Provo again, I've come to terms with it and am accepting that this is what I need to do. And in ways, I can definitely see that this will benefit me. In other ways, I'm still waiting to see the blessings in store.
Because of this experience, I vow to always seek Christ's help when I have a choice to make. Even in the little things in life. I try to always "stand for truth and righteousness," and with Christ's help, I can.
Here is a story about Pam Reed, and the difficult choice she had to make.
When I decided to go back to school to get my degree, I knew it would cause a financial hardship on my family. But, we had prayed about it and knew it was right. So the decision was made. I tried to cut corners every way that I could. One of the ways that I did that was to take advantage of the many free luncheons at school. Usually these lunches were offered by different religious clubs or sororities that had a lecturer coming to speak. I found these lunches often interesting and fun to listen to. On one such occasion, however, I found myself very uncomfortable with the speaker. This luncheon took place at a non-denominational Christian club. The speaker began a very interesting talk about Christ but then he went on to say that several religions did not believe in Christ. One of those he named was the Mormon church.
I began to feel very uncomfortable. What should I do? I knew this wasn’t true for we are the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I didn’t know what to do. I knew my Heavenly Father would not want me to create a spirit of contention. But, I also knew that this wasn’t the truth. At first I thought, let it lie. I can’t do anything about it anyway. But then the words of the Young Women’s theme came to me. "We will ’stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places..." I knew I had to correct this error as a witness of God. The speaker concluded as my wrestle with myself ended. I said a silent prayer to my Heavenly Father to have peace and love in my heart. Then, I went to talk to the speaker. I explained that he had made a grave error when he said the Mormon church did not believe in Christ. I told him the true name of our church and bore testimony of the divinity of Christ and of my great love for Him. Through it all I felt great peace and comfort. By the end of our conversation, I had seen this man go from a countenance of anger to one of respect. He turned to me and said, "You are right, I know now that I am mistaken. I will have to learn more about your church for I see you do believe in our Savior."
Often I have thought of this conversation. What great joy it has given me to know that I had the strength to stand as a witness of truth and righteousness.
I hope I can have that kind of courage. I have a feeling that is something I will run into more up at Utah State than I would have otherwise.
On another note, I'm doing better (ish) at my sleep goal! Sunday night I was so exhausted that I went to bed around 10! Although then Chelsey showed up on my doorstep so I sat and talked with her for a few minutes (I couldn't fall asleep anyway), and then made it back to bed only to not be able to sleep for a while. But I'm pretty sure I was at least asleep by midnight! And I woke up at, brace yourselves, 6:30. In the morning! Shocking, I know. But it didn't last long. Last night I kind of fell asleep sometime between 12 and 2, but didn't get up till 11:30. ): It was terrible. But I'm getting up at 8 tomorrow to go hiking! So excited! I think I just need to have motivation to get up in the morning and I can. It also helps if I go to bed early enough :P Speaking of which, since it's already past 1, I should go to sleep! 14 day challenge is almost up (although I haven't been as diligent at making it 14 days as I would have liked. Sunday it wasn't my fault, our router broken so I couldn't post. ..That's about my only excuse, though, haha), and I finally read the first talk from this past conference! I was originally waiting to find my copy from last conference, so I could finish there before I started this one, but I realized I only had one talk from the Relief Society broadcast left anyway, so I just read it online. I love conference, conference talks, and prophets and apostles! I met President Packer as he was leaving the Church Office Building last week :D So cool. He was in the parking garage, going from his wheelchair to the car, and we were going to work. Heather asked if it would be inappropriate if we asked to shake his hand, and he welcomed us right over (: Such a sweet old man. Love them.
Also, I love Dylan and Mallory. We hung out last night, and they're seriously just the greatest friends. <3
And.
MY BROTHER IS AT EFY RIGHT NOW. AS WE SPEAK. (Or, rather, as I type and you read. Although not at the same time. Anyhoo. Beside the point.) He actually wanted to go, and was super excited! Although I'm not sure if the main reason was the girls or not.. (He's close to getting two girls' numbers, apparently! THIS close, |_| he said. Lol.) But either way. He's there. He very well could have an amazing spiritual experience! I really hope so.
Enough rambling. My pillow is calling.
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